The Cellblock Tango
by trichloroethane
Summary: The fanfic version of 'Cellblock Tango' from 'Chicago' featuring characters from different anime series. It's placed in Naruto, as the main character is also from this universe. YAOI.


**The Cellblock Tango:**

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, Naruto, Fullmetal Alchemist or DN Angel, so don't sue me. Nor do I own this song, which comes from the movie 'Chicago'.

Warnings: Mentions of violence, homosexual relationships and vulgar language.

A/N: I was listening to 'Cellblock Tango' one day and the lyrics gave me a great idea, so I gave in to the urge and began to type.

* * *

The jail cell was eerily dark. As he lay in bed, staring at the dripping tap just a few feet away from his bed, a soft drum roll started up in time with the water droplets hitting the bottom of the sink. Then he heard voices, softly whispering. 

"Pop," the first voice went. He thought he recognized it as belonging to the boy just a cell away. Although his voice was soft, it held hidden rage.

"Six," the second voice went.

"Squish." The word was said with a sort of sick relish.

"Uh uh." A desperate voice; denying guilt.

"Cicero." It was said with anger, fierce, burning hot anger that made your blood boil in your veins and obscured your vision with a red veil.

"Hikari." A quiet voice that held a deadly venom.

He swore he could hear another voice in the distance, clear and soft as though he were announcing an act in a nightclub. "And now, the six merry murderers of the Cook County Jail in their rendition of the Cellblock Tango." The prisoner could just see them, all standing in front of him. Dimly he wondered how they had managed to get out from their cages, but the though vanished as they continued with their 'act'.

"Pop." The word was said a little more loudly now, more angrily.

"Six."

"Squish." Still the same sick amusement.

"Uh uh!"

"Cicero."

"Hikari!" Then the six of them burst into song, now all singing in unison.

"He had it coming!  
He had it coming!  
He only had himself to blame,  
If you'd have been there,

If you'd have seen it…

I betcha you would have done the same!" He could hear the anger in their voices; although they were not shouting, they were still angry. However, he could empathise; after all, wasn't he, too in jail for the same crime? He watched as the six figures came into view, stalking forward, soft aggression in their movements. They were defiant, unrepentant. The one who'd sang the last line on his own was obviously the leader of them all; his eyes held nothing but cold anger and hatred in them.

They repeated their 'keywords', one after the other, much more rapidly this time. When they finished, the first figure stepped forward into the 'spotlight'. His hair was brown and tousled, and his blue gaze was as cold and unyielding as steel. He was dressed in black leather from head to toe and again the prisoner found himself wondering where he'd gotten the clothes from. He was riveted to the show. Then the brown haired man began to speak and he remembered; his name was Heero. Heero Yuy.

"You know how people have these little habits that get you down?" His voice was soft but not accented. He spoke lightly, as though discussing the weather or something equally trivial. "Like…Trowa." His eyes flared up with barely concealed rage, but his voice was as smooth as before. "Trowa…he liked to chew gum. No," he corrected himself. "Not chew. POP." This last word was said with venom, in a tone reserved for the deepest loathing. "So I came home this one day, and I'm _really_ irritated, and there's Trowa readin' his newspaper and chewin' his gum. No, not chewin'. POPPIN'. So, I said to him, 'You pop that gum one more time…'" Here his voice was angrier. "…And he did. So, I took my pistol out of its holster and fired two warning shots…_into his head._" The prisoner could only stare in shock as Heero calmly walked back to his place and they all burst into song again.

"He had it coming!

He had it coming!

He only had himself to blame!

If you'd have been there,

If you'd have seen it!

I betcha you would have done the same!"

The next figure stepped forward and the prisoner saw that he, too, was garbed similarly to Heero and around the same age. He had long chestnut hair which was tightly woven into a braid and his amethyst eyes were cold. He began to speak. "I met Chang Wufei from Xi'an about two years ago and he told me he was single. We hit it off right away." He paused as though thinking. "So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner." He gestured airily to demonstrate his point. Then the slight twinkle in his eye disappeared and his voice grew hard. "And then I found out." His face twisted scornfully as he told the next part of his tale. "Single he told me. Single my ass!" He spat. "Not only was he _married_. Oh, no." He shook his head almost sadly. "He had six wives. One of those old Chinese polygamists, you know. So that night, when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink as usual." He paused and when he spoke again, his voice was as steely as Heero's, all traces of smoothness gone. "You know…some guys just can't hold their _arsenic._"

The rest burst into chorus again and Duo (for that was his name) whirled on his heel and danced back to his place in the line. The prisoner noticed that it was somewhat brighter now and a red light illuminated the whole jail.

"Hah! He had it coming!

He had it coming!

He took a flower in its prime!

And then he used it!

And he abused it!

It was a murder, but not a crime!" They were singing much more loudly now and they danced, movements fluid but still showing their rage.

The third man walked forward and he, too, began to tell his story. "Now, I'm standing in the kitchen, carving up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business." This last line was said more heavily as though to emphasise the innocence of his actions. His baby blue eyes caught and reflected the red light in the jail, making it seem as though those innocent looking orbs were swirling with red. "In storms my husband Sasuke in a jealous rage. 'You been screwing the Hyuuga,' he says. He was _crazy_." Naruto's voice rose and fell accordingly, making the situation seem much more realistic. "He kept on screaming, 'You been screwing the Hyuuga!'" The blond man's voice dropped to a deadly softness. "And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife _ten _times!" There was something about that little detail that made the prisoner wince.

Once more, they burst into song, all six of them. He could seem them all now; different in appearance but all harboring the same hatred and defiance in their hearts. They repeated their 'keyword's one after the other rapidly, then their chorus.

"If you have been there.

If you have seen it!

I betcha you would have done the same!" Their dancing grew more frenzied, reflecting their agitation and anger. At the last line, all of them threw out their arms and pointed at an invisible audience, inviting them to agree.

The fourth one was easily the shortest of them all and also striking in appearance. His fierce golden eyes held untold fury within them and his light colouring contrasted starkly with the black leather he wore. He spoke quickly in a foreign language which, it seemed, only the previous boy-Naruto-could understand. The prisoner guessed it was some East European language.

"Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok,  
hogy a hires lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg  
lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan  
vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja  
Uncle Sam hogy en tettem. probaltam  
a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg..." He trailed off, at which point the other blond quickly jumped in.

"Yeah, but did you do it?"

Ed shook his head. "Uh uh." With a visible effort, he said the next two words in English. "Not…guilty!" His golden eyes were angry but pleading at the same time.

The fifth man stepped forward. The prisoner stared; this one was fiery indeed. His crimson eyes and hair glowed under the red light and he spoke in a strong, clear voice, anger ringing through the tones.

"My best friend Takeshi and I had an act, and my boyfriend, Dark, travelled around with us. Now, for the last number in our act, we did these twenty acrobatic tricks in a row-one, two, three, four, five…splits, spreadeagles, backflips, flip flops, one right after the other." As he named the various moves, he demonstrated them, his lithe body twisting and contorting into various positions. When he'd finished, he straightened up and continued narrating. "So this one night before the show, we're down at the Hotel Cicero, boozing, having a few laughs." His voice was deceptively calm, although his eyes showed a burning rage matched by few. "And we ran out of ice, so I went to go get some. I come back, open the door…" He paused, closing his eyes. "And there's Takeshi and Dark doing Number 17-the spreadeagle!" Crimson eyes flew open, rage present, and the prisoner immediately understood. "Well," the fiery one continued. "I was in such a state of shock, I totally blacked out; I can't remember a thing. It wasn't till later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead!" Then he sang along with the chorus, finishing off with a challenging, "How could you tell me that I was wrong?"

Daisuke continued, singing 'They had it coming' whilst the others supplied the rest of the lines. "I didn't do it! But if I'd done it…how could you tell me, that I was wrong?"

The final convict stepped forward, blue eyes cool and uncaring, his voice calm. "I loved Krad Hikari more than I can possibly say. He was sensitive…a painter. But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself, and on the way he found Max…James…Matthew…and Risa. I guess you could say we broke up because of artistic differences." A sardonic smile curved his lips and he sighed before continuing. "He saw himself as alive…and I saw him as dead!" Satoshi clenched his fist tightly, the knuckles turning white. The prisoner was held in thrall as his six cellmates danced wildly, their movements co-ordinated, fluid and carrying all the intensity of their emotions.

"The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!" At this point, the six split up into groups of three-Heero, Duo and Naruto in one, Ed, Daisuke and Satoshi in the other. One group would sing a line of the chorus and the other would echo it angrily, the music building up into a crescendo. The prisoner could only watch in fascination as the six of them danced.

"'Cause if they used us," The first group sang, followed by their echo.

"And they abused us!" (And they abused us!)

They all sang in unison, "How could you tell us, that we were wrong!" Eyes shone with hatred, fury and defiance.

"He had it coming!

He had it coming!

He only had himself to blame!

If you'd have been there,

If you'd have seen it!

I betcha you would have done the same!" Their song had reached its climax and it died down, each man repeating the line that summarized his story.

Heero growled, "You pop that gum one more time!"

Duo spat, "Single my ass!"

Naruto hissed, "Ten times!"

Ed desperately sang, "Miert csukott Uncle Same bortonbe."

Daisuke spoke coldly, "Number 17-the spreadeagle!"

Satoshi sneered, "Artistic differences."

"Pop."

"Six."

"Squish."

"Uh uh."

"Cicero."

"Hikari."

With that final word, all six of them vanished into the darkness, leaving Iruka alone in his cell once more. "Kakashi," he thought angrily, stirred up from the Cellblock Tango.

* * *

Done! Thank you for reading, and review please! See you next time! 


End file.
